One of the most frustrating things about health is that you only appreciate it when it's gone. Like so many things, I suppose.
I used to go through life without the slightest care for my health at all. I ate what I liked, drank what I liked, and smoked cigarettes. I never exercised. I wasn't a crazed hedonist, but I sure wasn't a health buff either.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think for a minute that my lifestyle is what caused my disease. I am pretty sure it has an infectious cause. However, I am equally sure that my 'she'll be right mate' attitude when it came to my health didn't help. It meant that I didn't pay enough attention when things started going pear-shaped. Not to mention the fact that if I had stopped working a lot sooner, I don't think I would be anywhere near as sick as I am now.
As my health became worse and worse I reasoned that my unhealthy lifestyle was starting to affect me. Well, I thought, I do drink and smoke, so it's no wonder I feel awful. I began to remedy my behaviour. First I started to eat healthily, lost weight, then I cut down my drinking and smoking (I no longer drink or smoke). Finally, I started to exercise every day, and then, twice every day.
I was absolutely sure that I would begin to feel better. You hear those stories of people losing weight and getting fit. They always say they feel so much better, they have so much energy!! Not me. I was still getting worse and worse. I couldn't understand why exercising never got any easier. Surely by now my body would be getting used to it?
Not my body. If anything, it was getting harder, what was going on? I didn't jump in at the deep end, sensibly, I planned to begin gradually and increase it as time went on. I would start off on Monday (after allowing myself to have one day off exercise) really well. I found it relatively easy to hit my target duration of exercise. In the days that followed, I would struggle more and more. By Friday I would be gritting me teeth and getting through it by force of will alone, if I managed to complete it at all. I would stop exercising and drunkenly walk away on legs that could give out at any moment. Shaky and totally depleted I would wonder why this was such a problem? Why was it so bloody hard?
This period of time was the time during which my symptoms accelerated most rapidly. Of course, I didn't realize the connection back then. Why would I? I mean, there is no disease that gets worse if you exercise, right? Doctors are always telling us that exercise is the solution to all our problems. Well, as I discovered the really hard way, sometimes 'shock horror' doctors are wrong.
I don't blame doctors for my condition though, I blame myself. If I had actually listened to what my body had been trying to tell me for years, I wouldn't be as sick as I am now. There were plenty of signs which I wilfully ignored. I had actually made a very conscious decision to ignore my illness. Reasoning that it would eventually go away. The things which I disregarded included: the left side of my face being numb, loss of coordination and balance, extreme exhaustion, reduced cognitive ability (short-term memory loss, word finding, reasoning etc), inability to focus my eyes, migraines (never had them before), muscle weakness, increasingly widespread numbness, pain and more excruciating pain, insomnia, dizziness, enlarged lymph nodes, etc etc etc. What an idiot.
So now, when I see people doing what I used to do, it really really pisses me off. She will not be right mate! There seems to be no way of getting through to people who are rocketing down that same path. Even when I point out to them that they are doing exactly what I used to do, and they don't want to end up like me. That they are deliberately ignoring the possible consequences. They just don't realise how very precious their health is. They just won't LISTEN.
So take care of your health. As cliched as it is, Iit is so very precious. Don't ignore symptoms. Go to a doctor. If they won't listen, go to another one. There is just too much at stake if you don't.
We all think that it won't happen to us. But it can.
That is why M.E. is a cause for everyone. Because it could happen to anyone. It can happen to you, your mother, father, sister, brother, child, friend. Anyone.
When will you realise?
I used to go through life without the slightest care for my health at all. I ate what I liked, drank what I liked, and smoked cigarettes. I never exercised. I wasn't a crazed hedonist, but I sure wasn't a health buff either.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't think for a minute that my lifestyle is what caused my disease. I am pretty sure it has an infectious cause. However, I am equally sure that my 'she'll be right mate' attitude when it came to my health didn't help. It meant that I didn't pay enough attention when things started going pear-shaped. Not to mention the fact that if I had stopped working a lot sooner, I don't think I would be anywhere near as sick as I am now.
As my health became worse and worse I reasoned that my unhealthy lifestyle was starting to affect me. Well, I thought, I do drink and smoke, so it's no wonder I feel awful. I began to remedy my behaviour. First I started to eat healthily, lost weight, then I cut down my drinking and smoking (I no longer drink or smoke). Finally, I started to exercise every day, and then, twice every day.
I was absolutely sure that I would begin to feel better. You hear those stories of people losing weight and getting fit. They always say they feel so much better, they have so much energy!! Not me. I was still getting worse and worse. I couldn't understand why exercising never got any easier. Surely by now my body would be getting used to it?
Not my body. If anything, it was getting harder, what was going on? I didn't jump in at the deep end, sensibly, I planned to begin gradually and increase it as time went on. I would start off on Monday (after allowing myself to have one day off exercise) really well. I found it relatively easy to hit my target duration of exercise. In the days that followed, I would struggle more and more. By Friday I would be gritting me teeth and getting through it by force of will alone, if I managed to complete it at all. I would stop exercising and drunkenly walk away on legs that could give out at any moment. Shaky and totally depleted I would wonder why this was such a problem? Why was it so bloody hard?
This period of time was the time during which my symptoms accelerated most rapidly. Of course, I didn't realize the connection back then. Why would I? I mean, there is no disease that gets worse if you exercise, right? Doctors are always telling us that exercise is the solution to all our problems. Well, as I discovered the really hard way, sometimes 'shock horror' doctors are wrong.
I don't blame doctors for my condition though, I blame myself. If I had actually listened to what my body had been trying to tell me for years, I wouldn't be as sick as I am now. There were plenty of signs which I wilfully ignored. I had actually made a very conscious decision to ignore my illness. Reasoning that it would eventually go away. The things which I disregarded included: the left side of my face being numb, loss of coordination and balance, extreme exhaustion, reduced cognitive ability (short-term memory loss, word finding, reasoning etc), inability to focus my eyes, migraines (never had them before), muscle weakness, increasingly widespread numbness, pain and more excruciating pain, insomnia, dizziness, enlarged lymph nodes, etc etc etc. What an idiot.
So now, when I see people doing what I used to do, it really really pisses me off. She will not be right mate! There seems to be no way of getting through to people who are rocketing down that same path. Even when I point out to them that they are doing exactly what I used to do, and they don't want to end up like me. That they are deliberately ignoring the possible consequences. They just don't realise how very precious their health is. They just won't LISTEN.
So take care of your health. As cliched as it is, Iit is so very precious. Don't ignore symptoms. Go to a doctor. If they won't listen, go to another one. There is just too much at stake if you don't.
We all think that it won't happen to us. But it can.
That is why M.E. is a cause for everyone. Because it could happen to anyone. It can happen to you, your mother, father, sister, brother, child, friend. Anyone.
When will you realise?
Posts
